The Trade off

The one thing in my life that has never changed has been my dreams, and i would give anything to achieve them. The closer i get to them though, i'm slowly starting to see what i have to give up along the way. How much will i have changed by the time i am at my destination? This thought worries quite alot at times. I do not like what i may have to become.

Everything in life is a trade off, if you want something, you have to be willing to give something up. An example of this is my school work. I'm determined to achieve better results this semester, and though its only still the first week, i'm already feeling the strain of my additional work load. I barely get to have proper conversations with my friends, and, physically, i am exhausted. These things i was expecting however, and am willing to endure.

When i first started college, the thing that threw me the most was how quickly i lost contact with people in my life i no longer saw. Within a few weeks almost everyone but the people at college had dropped off the map. And if i do end up going to ADFA, i'm afraid that everyone i know now will drop off the map also. It takes a long time for me to truly build a connection with someone, and so i cherish few really amazingly great friends i have made over the years and i obviously do not want to loose them. But now seeing how even some of my oldest friends have disappeared, i am worried i will lose almost all of those close to me. I guess for this reason it takes me a while to get close to alot of people. At times it just feels as if i'm going to end up friendless except for a select few.

My goals are getting closer and i am changing. For better or worse at the moment it is impossible to tell. Only time will tell what i must give up.