Losing touch

The further i walk through my life, the less i seem to care about all these people i see. Of course i care for their lives as i would any life but the way they live and think seems so different from me now. Some of my closest friends seem to change before my very eyes and i watch them with wonder. I seem to not care about the decisions these people make, nor the consequences that await them. In my eyes, they are alone, as am I. I draw comfort with many things, though human interaction seems to be less important to me now. There are now only a select few who know who i really am, and it is only in these few that i feel i belong. Everywhere else seems foreign to me now. I am tired of these people i see all around. I am tired of the small insight to their lives. It seems essential yet i am standing alone, with but a threads connection attaching me to the world. I am worried one day i will simply drift off to god knows where. Those i love seem so far away now. They do not even hear my voice, their ears are deaf and their eyes are blind to the truth. It seems impossible for them to see things as i do and this i cannot understand. how can they be happy leading their simple luxurious lives? How can they not wonder as i do at the things they see. Miracles are happening all around and they do not realize. But soon one will cave, either they will see or i will be blinded, and i worry that the later is far more likely. Then, even though i will be with them, i will be dead inside, not knowing what i should. Even now i find myself thinking who are these people? why must i be part of their lives? I worry myself, and i'm sure others would worry much if i told them this, but it is simply the truth. I am losing touch.

Change

Change is a necessary thing in life. Without it we would not progress whether it be change within ourselves or change within the outside world. But the one thing that has been plaguing me as of late is that if i am willing to change who i am, to compromise myself, then who will i become? I do not wish to change, yet all around me i see people changing all the time. Is inward change so inevitable that i cannot hope to avoid it? I define myself by living by the phrase 'I step into the dark without fear or complaint' and an uncompromising nature within myself. If I compromise who i am and the morals and ideals that i live by, i will be the very thing i strive to seek out and destroy. So what does the future hold for me? In truth i obviously do not know, but i only wish live by what i know, and remain who i am, even in the face of hopeless despair. If at the very least i can achieve this, i will live a happy man

Determination

Recently I have been reading a small book entitles 'the words Lincoln lived by' which encompasses everyday wisdom spoken on issues such as honesty, justice, etc. One of these that particular touched a nerve with me was determination. Abraham Lincoln was of the view that no matter your situation in life, you are responsible for who you are and what you become. This point really got to me. As most people who know me will tell you, i aspire to be a pilot in the air-force. It is something I have always wanted to do, and i know within myself it will happen. And i thought, am i able to apply this amount of determination to all aspects of my life? I mean its easy to be determined to want something you've worked your whole life for, but would i be able to be that determined to do my homework every night? or go for a run every morning? or even try to learn a new language, something i have often wanted to try. Determination is a property that is too often cast aside these days, yet another positive quality lumped in with kind, compassionate, things like that. We might often say, "Joe is such a good guy, hes so determined and kind" but are we really listening to what we are saying?

It seems in modern society that we too easily cast words by the way side, never really listening to what people are saying. And so with the thought of determination i have come to two conclusions, both seemingly equally valid in my mind. The one thing that really shines through to me however, is that no matter how hard things are, or where you are, or who you are, as long as you are determined, and believe in yourself, you will prevail.

George

George was a simple man, and thus lead a simple life style. Each morning he would get up out of bed, pull on his dark trousers, and head downstairs. A single boiled egg would be all that George would eat for breakfast, a habit which has bemused his family for years, but now as he lived on his own he did no longer have to deal with judgment on his bizzare practice. While eating his egg thoughts wandered in and out of Georges brain, coming and going as they pleased. Occasionally he would hold onto one of these for a few moments more, possibly pondering whether he should buy another set of trousers, or wash the cat. Once he had finished his egg George would rummage for a shirt, preferably with a collar, and set off for work. On the way he passed all the usual sights; the stunted tree, the corner shop, the wino's sitting about in the alley, so on and so forth. The trip took roughly about seven minutes and forty-two seconds and George took in every second of it. He lived for the summers breeze that would blow through the air, gently caressing him as he strode down the lane. A subtle warmth would dance on the cobble stones and fill Georges heart with joy. Sadly, this summers morning was to be Georges last trip down the cobbled lane as the culmination of one of his few indulgences in life came to a head. Within six minutes and seventeen seconds of starting his walk George collapsed on the pavement dead from a cholesterol build up in his heart. In the end it was the eggs that got him. But the sole point of Georges life was not only eat eggs in moderation, but also to enjoy the simple things in life. Though he may have lived simply George did die a happy man, and if given the chance to look back on his life, he would have smiled.

The Wanderer

He walked across the marshes, the sun laying barren and low in the horizon giving an unearthly feeling to land. Trudging slowly, he continued on, his endless walk continuing one staggered step at a time. His hair was long and wild and he had clearly been abroad for months. Clothes hung to his body seemingly willing to fall at any moment worn to but an inch of their once illustrious existence. Large cracks in large boots must have provided little or no protection for his feet, but he did not seem to care. The marsh was a vile place and stunk of rot and decay. Nothing appeared to live apart from the ugly vegetation, and even it seemed suffocated by the dread that could be felt all around. As he walked, something stirred, a creature broke through the surface of one of manly small streams that ran. It was a small, fish like thing, no bigger than a fist, and of little consequence to the man. He broke his stride momentarily to examine the thing in its struggle to survive with everyday life. Swimming, it ducked and dived through the marsh, and briefly it was gone. He thought of freedom, among other things, and held still in a moment of silence.

The man stood and composed himself, his eyes lost in contemplation. And with that he walked yet again across the marsh.

Branded Society

We live in a branded society. Everything is owned, nothing is free. From the smallest to the largest aspects of our lives, the corporation is in control. We no longer pay for goods, but the brands which they are distributed by. A brilliant example of this is Apple, which is rapidly and constantly growing in size. On the whole, people do not buy music only ipods (such as the classic and nano) for the music capabilities, but for the fact that they then own an ipod. The small little self owned business era is gone, and the era of corporations, mass production, and branding has replaced it. Whatever we buy simply furthers the system and the cycle continues endlessly with people not even needing what they buy, simply buying it because they feel compelled to. How long with things last like this before people realize the needless excess they are living in, and how it is destroying their lives

A short expression

This isn't really an attempt at poetry, more just some words that seemed to fit what i wanted to say. anyway, hope its readable.

Our society is sick
The world is screaming
Yet we are oblivious

We consume endlessly
Without thought or cause
Until even our hope has been destroyed

We no longer know who we are
We are simply cogs of a giant machine

No one questions
No one thinks
Our minds are blind to the truth

With each dawn, we all die a little more
We know not why
But we can all feel it

Change is choked by fear
The future clouded by blackened skies

The land cries out
But we cannot hear
We are deaf to ourselves

The cycle is constant
Our thoughts irrelevant
Ununited we are led across the land
Into the grave we so happily dug

The Beginning

I suppose i have created this blog not in the hope that others would read it, but more to order my thoughts and inward conflicts. The need for this stems from the recent conclusion of mine that the modern, western society in which i live is very, very sick. All i watch day in day out is people consume endlessly and needlessly. And it sickens me. Life should not be about the amount of wealth you accumulate or the number of things you own.

I am hoping that by creating this blog i will be able to come to further conclusions within myself strengthening my resolve against consumer culture. I of course would be delighted for any views/followers/anything of this nature, though i in no way anticipate or expect this.

Its time for people to start being shown the truth, and the horror that they have created in the world. Change in imminent. The only factor is time.