I'm fine people

I know I may complain from time to time my loneliness, but I rarely feel like that except every now and then in the night times. Yes, I crap on about how nice it would be to have someone by my side I could rely on and love and smooch and all that bullocks, but I'm not crying into my pillow all the time. Of course I'd take the chance if my "perfect" woman walked by me or got talkin to me, but for now I'm just not that into anyone. I'm not afraid, I'm not alone, I'm not searching for sex, I'm not in desperate need of love and attention. I'm doing just fine.

Superheros

We build such high ideals. Goals that are so impossible to meet. Will I ever be enough? No matter how hard I try I fall. Do I need to try harder, or is it time simply to give up? Even if I get there in the end I will never be remembered. Just another man forgotten in time, and we are just a spec in the bitter emptiness of space. Sometimes I feel we need a hero. Not a man who can lift cars, not an alien from another world, not a crazy billionaire. Just a man, just one good man. I'd like to think thats all it would take. But the truth is he'd be crushed like all those before him. The heroes go flash in the night, and the villains live on. Maybe sometimes it is better just to give up.

The animal within

Our time on this earth is so very, very short. Not only as an individual, but also as a species. But do we spend our time bettering ourselves, helping those around us, creating beautiful or amazing things, or finding our true friends? No. We war, we steal, we murder, we rape, we insult, we bully. Maybe in our modern society people feel obliged to be good citizens of the world, but deep down we're still animals. Our primal lusts still run strong. They still have their hold on us. Many people claim how they want to help, how they want to change the world, but they do nothing. They say it is too hard to change but, in fact, they are the ones incapable of change. If you want to make a difference, you must reject your basic instinct. Leave your lusts by the way side. Because until you finish with them, you will still be a slave to the animal within. It is our animal that wars. Our animal that steals, murders and rapes. People can explain our animal helping those around us, linking it back to when we were cavemen, but in a modern global community like ours I do not believe them. We are fully aware that millions of people die a day. Yet every now and then, we'll help an old guy across the street. What difference is that small act going to make in the scheme of things? Very little. But you still did it. All we need is a little perspective. Then maybe something will start to change.

Somewhere over that rainbow

I get called a few immasculine things from time to time. Corny, girly, wimpy and not manly enough among others. I guess I am a few of these things, but I feel no shame for it. It is simply who I am and I doubt that's going to change anytime soon. I like to believe its possible for the world to be a better place. Obviously nothing is ever going to be perfect, and it'll take a hell of a long time before things even tick over to good, but things don't always have to be so bad. I'm never quite sure if I'll ever manage to make a difference, but there are people out there who will if given the chance. Everyone doing their little bit matters. Take someone of opposing views of you out to lunch; have a talk, get to know them as a person. Have a bit of a walk outside your comfort zone. Push yourself. It only takes a little effort to make a change.

The song won't embed, but it's gorgeous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I&ob=av2em

Resolutions

So, there are only two weeks of holidays left. Looking back on my list of things to do I think I'm doing alright so far, but I'll evaluate that right at the finish. For now I think its time to start setting my goals for the rest of the year. Whenever I undertake something like this, I always feel a real internal struggle. There's the perfectionist in me who desires all my goals to be academically related, or at least to something with a scored value. There's also the dreamer who wants to unravel the mysteries of the universe, and look into the more spiritual side of life. Because of this, it can be hard to set out some hard goals, though I usually manage to find a good balance. And with that said, I guess that's what the theme for this year is going to be. Balance. Let's get to it.

School. Ah yes, the final year. The culmination of all we've been taught and all the skills we've learnt over the years. My goals for this year, regarding school are a bit varied, but being the nerd I am, I'll start with the academics. I would love to get an ATAR of 95+ and I think this is quite possible if I keep up the study this year. I'm hoping for 90's in history, english and flight, and 80's for physics and maths. If I manage to get all of that, I'm going to be pretty freakin happy. It's going to be a hard slog though, and no doubt my lunchtimes and afternoons will be filled with all kinds of lectures and extra little tid bits to keep me on my game. But hey, you gotta give a little to get a little. My second goal for school, which I must say I am a bit apprehensive and excited about is to get a few charities running. The two that I'm going for so far are 'Triangles for Truth' which is a student run organisation to help stop genocide, and the stem cell research foundation. With a few talks to teachers, and maybe an assembly speech I think these should be underway and in full swing a few weeks into the term, provided they gather sufficient student support. Oh well, just have to wait and see with that one.

Defence. The next big road block, or perhaps the biggest road block of all to extend the metaphor. This year two stages remain in my Defence application. My interview (on Tuesday) and my flight screening (probs around July). After that I simply need to wait for an offer from a service and apply for ADFA from the university end. Everything's going well so far and there hasn't been any major kerfuffles. All I need to do is keep up my academics, witty charm, and fitness (which gives me a nice lead in to my next topic).

Apparently one of the the most popular new years resolutions was to get fit this year. Though it wasn't my resolution (I'll get to that in a bit) getting fit is still a high priority. So far it's been going pretty well this month, I've got a decent routine worked out and though I stray here and there every now and then its working pretty well. I'm feeling better, and I'm finding the exercises easier, so thats a plus. All I need to do is keep it up for the year, and I should be fine. Not too much for to say for that really. So with the perfectionist now happy and my quantitative goals set, its time to give the dreamer a little bit of writing space and talk about my resolutions.
Last year was very different for me than any other year of schooling I'd had. I changed schools for the first time (which really wasn't a drama) and I got to meet a lot of new people. I learnt many things about people, the world, and most importantly myself. I had come to Tuggeranong a bratty teen, thinking I knew it all, but I couldn't have been more ignorant. I was brought from a closed off stale world into into a place budding with fresh ideas and concepts, and I loved it. It may seem as if I've changed a bit from who I was when I left Trinity, but I think its more I'm becoming who I've always wanted to be. And that draws me to my resolution. Last year I found out the kind of person I want to be. This year, I'm going to become the person I want to be. I want to have a purpose to every moment; whether it be studying, chillin with my friends or just doing nothing at all. It may be slow, but I'm going to be the best person I can be. And that's my goal. To be the person I wan to be, and to be the best I can be. Yes, as always its corny, but that's just me, and I'm damn proud of that (again with the corn). So congratulations if you managed to struggle through that, I'm surprised that you held out this long. If you didn't, its cool, I probably still love you.

Mish Mash

I often wonder about the future and how different it could be from the life I lead now. What kind of person will I be in ten, or even five years? Would I even recognize myself on the street? I think about what kind of place the world will be. Will it be that apocalyptic landscape of the 2030's we've all been raised with in action movies? Will the world even exist after 2012? (that last one was a joke, of course the world isn't going to end). But above all that I think more about the people I'll be with. I mean I get on easily with people and everything, but there aren't too many people who I often grow close with. In fact this year at college I'd way there was one, possibly a few others. I don't really see this as a downside, I'd rather be close with one person that still pretty distant with 10. But I digress. The point is, I don't particularly want to loose anyone I'm friends with now, but it's inevitable isn't it? How many guys do you see round with friends they've had since their early teens? Not too many. I know, it's possible, but it still makes you think. Everyone I've seen who goes to uni often forgets about many of the friends they had while they were in college. I mean, lets pray not, but by that time I may even be some meat head commando guy. Don't think this is going to make me distant at all from the friends I have now, if nothing else it will make my bond stronger to enjoy the time we have left together. And you all know I'd love more than anything never to let you go, but like the steady stream life moves on (pardon the corn). Maybe it would be smarter of me to keep my distances. Get a lot of friends who I'm willing to let go. But I just can't live like that. I need people I can love, people I can gossip with, people I can play fable with, people I can bitch with, people who I can talk shit with, people who I can cruise with, people I can man hug, people who I can just talk to with no strings, people I can share embarrassing stories with, people I can laugh with, people who I can sing, dance and cry with. My life is my friendships. I can't handle fakeness. Are we not defined by who we are in the eyes of others? One thing that makes me happy is that I have kept in contact with everyone who I love despite most of them being at different schools to me, and this heartens me greatly. Maybe I will still see you all in years to come. I'm feeling pretty chill now, about the future and all. Not stressin about my interview, the year, or even the next ten. Just being content with the moment and what I have now. Looking back on it, this has been a pretty mish mash post. None of that classic David originality (ha) but I'm pretty sure I've said all I wanted to say. Don't you love a good cathartic blog?

I would end with peace, but with me looking to join defence and what not it seems kind of hypocritical. I think a simple good night then will suffice. Night y'all.

One week

There is but one week until the next stage of my Defence application, and I'm feeling a little nervous. In times like these i usually like to talk to people, but seeing I have stuff i need to do and most people are still asleep at half nine I figure blogging should also do the trick. Also I've been tellin a lot of you I've been studying, so i figure i'll show you what i've had to study. So this time I'm doing the whole proper interview. I've passed all my maths tests and what not, so now I just need to be able to talk and remember stuff. Usually I'm alright at that, so it shouldn't be too bad. I have however, never had a for real job interview before so I'm not entirely sure what kind of environment its gonna be. My suits all ready to go, and all I need to complete the picture is the lovely longines that usually inhabits Joel's wrist. The only thing that has me a little worried is the stuff i need to remember. I got a packet of information stating the following:

1. Do I really want to be an airman?
2. Why do I want to be an airman?
3. Do I have the right achademic qualifications?
4. Do I know the role and can i cope with the responsibilites?
5. Do I know the training process?
6. How much do I know about military life in general?
7. How will my lifestyle be affected by joining Defence?
8. Do I understand the enlistment conditions of service?
9. What does my family think about my application?
10. Can I offer unrestricted service?
11. Where and how long is your initial military training (IMT)?
12. What will you learnt at officer training and what will your environment be like?
13. Where and how long is your initial employment training?
14. What type of equipment might you use?
15. How long will you enlist for?
16. Where are the military bases that you may be posted to after training?
17. What mustering/specialization will you belong to?
18. What are the main functions of the role you are applying for? how is the combat role related to this?
19. What are the potential operating environments for your job role?
20. What are the employment conditions for this job role - positive and negative?
21. What are the pay entitlements for IMT/IET and once fully qualified?
22. What is the ADF policy on non-medical use of drugs
23. What will service life be like?
24. What is the pre enlistment fitness assessment?

So yeah, there's a lot of stuff I have to know. It also states that these questions are the minimum standard of knowledge. eep. I've got a little work book that I've been writing down my information in to study and I think its working pretty well. Just so y'all know basically I'll be shuttin down for about a week until this is done, because i really want to nail it. Sorry if this was convoluted/pointless/hard to understand, but i am nervous, and as such my abilities suffer.