Ch-ch-changes

It has been a while since I posted on this blog, and a lot has changed, for me at least. Life is different now, I dearly miss so many of those who are close to me and I cherish every piece of time I get to myself. It is my time to think, my time to reflect, my time to relive memories past and my time to dream of what is to come in the future. My time to simply be in the present with no purpose or obligation. Outside these times I am a different man. I obey laws, rules and regulations. I am prompt and on time to any and all appointments. I throw on my smile and throw my chin up high in pride for both myself, my chosen career path, and my country. Outside of my cave, I am just another suit, another carbon copied face. We all have this view of ourselves. We have parts we will not let the world see, we have parts me must display if we want a desired result, and we most certainly all hold dear to that little part that no one knows about, where no body can hurt us or touch us. But when do the lines begin to blur? And in asking yourself that question, the likelihood is that they already have. As I sit now at my computer screen admiring the beauty of the sunshine through my window I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and notice my furrowed brow and despondent eyes. This is the mask I wear. After all, it is only a mask, right? The past few months have led me to a few curious insights and what I now hold as universal truths. The first, human beings are forever capable of adaptation and change, emotionally, mentally, physically and socially to suit and withstand any environment or situation. The second, is that our present and future contextualize the past. Not the other way around. I have obviously been thinking about far more than just these two relatively simple thoughts, but they are by far the more important. I often think about the decisions I have made throughout life, and where they led me. The person that they shaped me to be. There is little I would change about my past. Some days I wake and feel as if I am walking across the surface of Mars. As if I live on dead planet, light years from home. But I know that's not true. Do not be afraid to question yourself, to not be afraid to change. Do not fear the future, for it is all we have ever known.