My hatred of the facade

I am becoming tangled in a web of lies, secrets and deception. My mind begins to unfurl the bonds that have taken a lifetime to forge in questioning the truth. You know I am always here for you, but how can I help behind a closed door? All I want to do is help. Appearances are certainly not as they seem. The world around me is changing, rearing its ugly head. As the dull facade crumbles I am left staring into the eyes of a beast I wished never to confront. Everyone around is being torn piece by piece into oblivion and all I can think about is how hard it is for me. Sometimes the fire burning within is not bright enough to light the path. Brotherhoods forged in blood are shattered into a million pieces. I can handle the change, all I want is the truth. Is this really how it all will end? If needed, I can make the choice. A rage fills me that I have rarely felt and I hate what has become of us. I am so afraid, and you know it. Why do you sit there and watch me claw my way through the dark? Please, don't let it come to this. There is so much I want to say. To pour out endlessly to you, but I cannot. And I will not. How do people live like this from day to day? I need to end it. I need to be cleansed from my sins. I need to meet your gaze without guilt or contempt. God knows I'm trying