My Children

I sit in the grass looking up the sky. Clouds pass as a breeze blows. To almost all, the scene seems perfect. Yet I am unhappy. How could I take pleasure in such perfection whilst immeasurable atrocities take place in areas of the world most people don't know exist. My mind is constantly plagued with the struggles of those helpless in the world. Diseased and starving in a war torn land. And we complain about the weather. Why can't I help them? Why can't I at least find a way I would be able to help? Children screaming out at me, yelling my name in panic as they reach out towards me. I try to bridge the gorge between us but it is too vast. No matter how hard I try I am never able to save them. All I wanted to do was help people. They cry my name 'David!' with tears streaming down their cheeks. If I do not save them they will certainly die. Vultures circle over them biding their time. I can do nothing but watch and cry. I talk to them, but words do them little good. Hundreds perish, each face seared into the back of my skull. Our culture is so needless its shameful. Why can't more people see them? Why can't more people here the cries of my children?

My (seemingly) forgotten friends

I'm sorry for what has happened between us. I didn't want it to be like this. I guess I've just changed. Please never think that I stopped caring. I still remember you, I someones wonder if you remember me. I want to talk to you, but sometimes its hard. I know that's a weak excuse, but its the truth. There's just something that stands in the way of the reconnection. Memories fill my mind. It's impossible to forget the moments we shared, for they shaped me into the person I am today. I know its my fault that this gap was opened in the first place but I just want you to know how desperately I want to bridge it. I hold all of you dear to me. You are all my friends. I really do, despite your skepticism, love you all. I won't forget you.

Re: Re: "Why this world isn't an illusion"

Despite the confusing title, I am replying to Joel's post.

http://sky-sailors-handbook.blogspot.com/2010/11/re-why-this-world-isnt-illusion-jason.html

He has the link to the original.

You say that flesh has memory, though I would say this is simply a learnt response due to our bodies complex nervous system, stemming from the brain. Cut off your hands, and they will on their own obviously be unable to sculpt. As for your proposed replacement of hands, your body in time could gain back your lost dexterity, and potentially surpass it depending on the condition of the hands. It is simply a matter of how long it takes the join to heal and nerves to connect.

I would not though, go as so far as to a person is totally encased in their brain. Though a persons thoughts and ideas stem from the brain, these ideas are created from what we see, hear, feel, taste and smell, all functions of the 'shell'. Replace someones brain in a different body, and slowly they will become a different person as their reality is altered by the new shell's sensory perception. This could lead to the argument of devices such as prosthetic limbs and organ transplants, altering a shell's perception which I believe they may very well do.

Your example of brain transplants simple exhibits the thought that as our shells change, so do our selfs. I believe this is true, and is constantly happening on a small scale. Puberty is an excellent natural example of us. Our bodies change which leads to a change in our minds and potential views on the world. Even outside stimuli could provoke a change in ourselves, for example a strong piece of text evoking an emotional response, that could lead to ideas being formed. This leads to the conclusion that though our brain controls our movements and thoughts, the way it decides upon these is based on how we interpret our reality. The self and the shell are intrinsically linked.

Though this has been slightly off topic, I hope my point is clear.

Its what's inside you that I despise, though the outside is pretty dreadful too

You sit there in your little uniforms scheming away. Thinking that your the best of us. Riding your high horse off into a clichéd sunset. But it really isn't true. And we all know it. Sometimes I wonder if you do. You can sit for as long as you like in your little fascist utopia, but as soon as you get out into the real word you will crumble away, weak and spineless. You take picture after picture of yourselves. You think your funny, you think your pretty, you think your clever, you think your weird, you think your different, you think your the best thing ever to happen to the world, you think your gods gift to women. Let me assure you, NONE of this is true. You are so very, very small minded. If you were reading this now all you would be doing is pointing out everyone of my little grammar mistakes but seriously, no one gives a fuck when you do that. Have your fun while it lasts, because sooner or later you will come crashing down and all of your 'friends' will be no where to be found, and you'll find your self in the same pool as the rest of us. Oh how horrible that must be! Us living our lives in filth. Sex, drugs and violence, thats all we care for isn't it? We're not really capable of having a real human connection or being truly happy. But you certainly are aren't you. You pushed us away and you didn't even know us. You didn't know the slightest thing about us. And you know the really sad thing? You could all be such great people. But instead you choose to waste your life in that ironic hell hole. Narrowing your minds and views day by day. When you actually learn a thing or two about life, give me a call.

Those of you I love, sorry for the generalization, but you'll never read this anyway.

Me good old family

you know I've considered devoting a blog just to family life and such, but I think a post every now and then will do for now.

Everyone in my family seems to function on fads. Alex especially, mum reasonably, dad at times. I've really thought I do, but hey, assuming i'm not adopted, I've probably picked it up from somewhere. The more I consider it, I guess I do go through fads, just not as defined as my other compatriots.

Alex's fad at the moment is comics, to be more specific DC comics, and to be even more specific a rather fast growing obsession with the green lantern. Now don't get me wrong, I love superheros. Anyone who knows me knows I love my batman. But 3 t-shirts, 6 comics, and a proper green lantern ring in the past couple of weeks? Pushing the borders a little in my book. After being shown previously mentioned big bang episode, where sheldon is holding a 'limited addition green lantern lantern' Alex turns to me and says "That one's a couple of hundred bucks, so I'll have to save up for a bit". To be honest I slack jawed a little. Goodness me. Am I living with a 21 year old man child? No, I'm being to cruel. Alex is a lovely fellow and a fantastic brother, and when viewed from his point of view his love of comics is quite rationale. It just astounds me at times.

Oh. And did I mention bond? James Bond? here comes another paragraph haha. So when we were little, we had 'James Bond: Golden Eye' in the N64. To be honest it was a pretty great game. Recently, it has been re released on the Wii. Again, I'm not going to lie, its pretty sweet. Though, as usual it has sparked another of Alex's fads. We now almost have all Bond movies downloaded, a bond theme tune CD in the car, and have Alex occupying the living room most of the day playing the game. Each to his own I spose, just isn't really for me.

Mum's has two big things going at the moment. 1. Getting a new couch and 2. A revitalized love of gardening. Neither of these I am adverse to at all, though after being quite literally drowned in fabric samples I am starting to question the new couch. Could it really be so glorious as to require such back breaking labor to acquire it? It better be a damn good couch. Guess thats about all I got. I can't really bag on gardening, because well its a pretty normal thing to do.

Dad's fads are slightly more ingrained into his behavior. Less of a fad, more of a fully fledged way of life. Just those little acts that make your day. Perhaps my favorite of these concerns every trip dad takes to the dentist. Dad, not wanting to feel a thing while in the chair, pays for happy gas, which he ingests until, and I quote "the roof starts spinning". After the checkup and what not he then goes to Woden plaza, to the same store, and buys a green collared short sleeve shirt. I'm pretty sure that by now he has about 5. Despite mum's efforts of before every trip, telling him not to buy a shirt, he always buys the shirt.

"You always buy that shirt when you've had the gas"
"But it was on special"

"You already have 5 of them"

"But it was on special!"

I'm also rather fond of the compliments I acquire when dad is under the influence of anything, be it the happy gas or a little too much beer on a weekend afternoon. Upon doing the simplest things such as taking out the garbage I'll receive great kudos.

"There we go dad, garbage is out"

"Thanks david, your SUCH a good son"

"... thanks dad?"

"No i mean it. I'm really proud of you"

"thats nice dad"

haha. Oh goodness. Family, your are quite hilarious. Well, i think thats enough of that for now. My brains a little fried, so apologizes if that is actually just boring dribble thats poured out in a moment of weakness. For those of you who do actually know my family, it would be appreciated if you didn't spread it round. I don't want a belting lol.

good lord...

So my brother comes into my room

"David!"

"what?"

"Yesterday I was watching big bang theory, and when they said the green lantern oath they got it wrong"
"Oh?"

"Yeah. they said darkest night when they should have said BLACKEST night"

"-eyeroll-"

He's 21 might I ad.

You know things are up when your brother starts becoming more geeky than the guys on big bang.

Sometimes I swear I'm living in a mad house.

Who am I?

Who am I to think that I can do these things that fill my mind? Consumed by ambition, I rarely notice the ridiculousness of my own thoughts. Greater men that me have tried and failed. Who am I to even think I can change what I am, or shape what I will become. A decision can only take you so far. I am trying to take action, to change what I can, but so far little has come of it. Perhaps I need more time, but I have no idea how much time I have to work with. A pretty picture isn't going to change anything. Where does this sense of purpose stem from? Some mis guided sense of self righteousness perhaps. Maybe I'm trying to prove that I can do this, that I'm not crazy for hoping. I wait wondering what it is I shall achieve, and in the meantime I do nothing.

Is it really so wrong to wish for a single light to illuminate the night?

For one voice to muster thousands?

To have faith that people can change?

I am, most definitely, a man of faith. It may be an impossible feat. I may be delusional. But I will feel no shame falling short, knowing I have put every ounce of my being into achieving my aims. There is no way anyone is going to hold me back.