Vulnerability

This pretty much just made my night. Y'all should watch. I've linked it, cause i'm yet to find out how to embed and what not haha.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

for some reason, you can't see the link on the post, but i assure you its there. just mouse over it.

The sweet life

I've never broken a bone.

I've never failed a school report.

I have a car I don't have to pay for.

My family gets on reasonably well.

My parents don't fight too much.

I've got a good plan for my future.

I've got the most amazing set of friends.

My head's in the right place, generally.

Everything seems pretty damn swell.

What did I ever do to earn such a damn easy life? There are so many more people than me who could use a bit of slack, but no. I want to empathize, but how can I? I just want to help people. And I know this is one of those 'oh you have a great life, so i should pick holes in it, la di da' posts, but yeah. if you don't like it, don't read it

Oh, the times we'll have

We'll drive along the great ocean roads and marvel at the beauty that surrounds us. We'll spend balmy nights gazing into the starts, soaking in the very fabric of the universe. We'll cuddle up close on cold nights, safe in the reassurance that the other one will always be there when the going gets tough. We'll be able to have our alone time, and pursue our own interests without the other one getting all uppity. We'll have our fights every now and then, but its okay, really, because we know we'll always make up in the end. We'll have our romantic moments, however unconventional they may be. We'll always fight for what we believe. We'll strive to make the world a better place for our children, and one day, we might even make a small difference. But most of all we'll feel free. Free from the burdens of society. Free from everyone's expectations. Free from the sadness. Free from the pain. Free from the doubt.

I'd like that.

I'd like that a lot.

Take a Joke

Just a heads up, this one is a bit of a rage, so if you're looking for any deeper meaning there isn't any. Well done if you figure out who it is. But unlike joel's blog, there shall be no prizes.

So yeah, I've admitted it. What I did wasn't that great. It was kinda mean, but I have apologized, and there's only so many times I can do that with sincerity. I can understand you being pissed, but if you recall I have forgiven you for far worse. Time after time you'll have let me down, insulted those I love, made me do something I don't want to and even scolded me for not doing things your way. You take and take without giving anything back, until I am left and an emotionally empty husk. You want me to grow up? Why don't you at least get to my level first before I mature anymore. Yes, this is harsh, and you'll probably never read it, but you need to learn how to take a joke. Unfortunately, the world does not revolve around you and your little life. What's that? You have problems in your life? Well who the hell doesn't. It's how you cope with them that makes the difference. Maybe you were of more significance when my life was small, but my world has been opened up now with opportunities everywhere. And you want me to sit and play these little games with you? No thanks. There are far more important things in this world for me to fight for than our piece of shit friendship. I wonder who you'll run to to whine about this considering I'm too immature to talk to. I've said all I can. I don't care what else you want, I've done my best. The ball's in your court now. Come talk to me when you've learnt something about how life. Until then, I don't give a fuck.

Choices

Sometimes I wonder why it is that we must always seem to have to choose between one thing or the other. Instant gratification or being well off in the long run. The eternal struggle. But sometimes, in fact almost never is it it that easy. I don't even know one from the other anymore. Today I had a choice. I could hang out with my friends, or I could go home and read my book on Nazi Germany and have a bit of quiet time. I chose the latter. I find myself plagued with questions as to why I chose to be alone than rather be with my friends. Am I changing that much? Not long ago I would have put this book down at the first 70 pages maybe as it started fairly slowly. Now only a week into it, I've read over 700 pages, and I am enjoying it. It teaches me of the past, and of the mistakes of men who were considered great. Too see how much, or how little, the world has changed since then is truly wondrous. But while I read I thought of my friends. The people who mean the world to me, I rejected because of a book. My views are changing as the month passes. I think I'm on the road to be well off in the long run, but a bit of instant gratification wouldn't hurt now or then would it? As soon as I think thoughts like this I consider myself weak. I set the goal to read and exercise and so on and I will achieve it. But I don't know if it's worth it anymore. Sorry for the big jumble of thought there, just kind of spilled out. Good luck to make sense of it.

Dreams

I have many dreams for what my future my bring, and what I may achieve in it. Many people consider many of them impossible or highly unlikely that I or anyone may achieve these things, but no matter what you say, you can never stop me dreaming. I would rather try with every fiber of my being and fail, than have not tried at all. I would rather be broken and beaten by my greatest fear than have never faced it. What is the point to my existence if I do nothing but consume and make the world an even worse place? So much to be done, and seemingly so little time to do it. But I'm trying. I'm really trying this time and by the end of this I will either be a broken man or the man I always aspired to be. None of us are perfect, and we never will be. I myself partake in may degenerate behaviors. But it doesn't mean you can't try and do something good once in a while. And maybe if your lucky, it might just work. Not a very long post, or a very insightful one either; but its really early and I need to exercise, so I'm going to leave it at that.

Gifted

My friends truly are amazing people. Abounding in compassion and conviction to what they believe, they hold me up. They are the backbone of my life. Gifted in so many ways, they could change the world. Intelligent, insightful, committed, and oh so very talented in ways I couldn't even hope to be. You surpass me on every front and I marvel with awe at what you may achieve in years to come. Sometimes I wonder why you stick by me, but I can never express how glad I am that you have. You guys mean the world to me. I write this while missing many of you dearly; all I long for is to see your faces again or hear your laugh. I have learnt so much since I met each of you and without you my mind would be closed to many concepts and truths I have now come to embrace. For this I must thank you.

One so clever he makes my head spin. Natural genius and practical wisdom abound fruitfully and plentifully within his character. I have known him longer than most others I know and have had the honor of watching him grow and mature into the man he is today. From the boy who made chicken noises, to now my greatest ally and friend. Our bromance has even become famed in some circles of the world. As our time clocked on fable is immeasurable, so is my faith in you. There is so much more I could say (I could almost talk endlessly in fact) though I think thats best saved for a speech somewhere down the line. Thank you for all you've done for me. The knowledge you've imparted and the wisdom you have shared will never go forgotten.

One who sings to the heavens as most can only dream of. To me, our friendship is quite very special. We were not bff's from the moment we laid eyes on each other. In fact, I think you asked me out in year 6 even (crazy days) but from when ever it was that we started talking and getting close, our relationship bloomed. Always up for a bit of goss, if any of us can get any, I can talk to you for hours about things that won't be happening for years, but get us all excited none the less. Marriage, kids, the whole shebang. You're always there for me, and I will always be there for you. We've had our will we's won't we's, but I know you'll understand when I say thank you, and I do love you.

Ahhh this one. Whether he be hittin up some bitches or taking a quiet night in reading leather bound books he'll always be my wingman. Acquaintance from the age of 6, and friends from about 9 we never looked back. So many memories flood my mind when I think of you. Whether it be ruling the year 6 stock market, fighting in the house of parliament, playing halo for hours on end, or watching you strip to your sexy Santa outfit they have all been truly amazing times. Though we may not see each other as much anymore we have still held strong, and I cannot express to you the faith this gives me in our friendship, and with other relationships the future may hold for me. Your the smartest guy I know, and the world is literally your oyster. Thanks so much for our time together, and rock on dude.

So thats my little talk. A little indulgent and corny but I honestly mean every word. You guys are the best.